I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
