So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
