your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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