She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just had sex on a roof
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
