Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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