Tell her she can't have a vagina
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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