i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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