okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
