apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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