apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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