dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize