I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
