I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
