Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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