Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
