well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
