if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
