The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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