it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
