Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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