there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Couch. On fire.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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