i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
