this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
