Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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