She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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