Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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