just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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