Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
