You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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