You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
