D3 body, D1 cock
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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