are you so shy because you have an std?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
