Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
