one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
