First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
