Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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