Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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