Screwed.edu
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
