Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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