Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
