i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
