...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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