I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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