In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
