I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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