I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
