is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
