Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
