I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
