Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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