Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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