You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
