Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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