Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
