she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
