i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
