Don't you send me to vm
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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