Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Oh god it's open bar.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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