Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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