only if we run a train.
done.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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