He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
